Letting go of someone who you once thought you couldn’t live without is probably the hardest thing for anyone to do, I think almost 89% of the world’s population has been faced or has faced this experience once in their lives.

I know I have, it was either my relationship or my sanity, and well I chose my sanity over that M’f. Most relationships are like leeches, once they get their hooks into you, they won’t let go until they have sucked you dry, let me give you an example, true life story.

I had this friend, a very long time ago, she’s the normal beautiful girl with no brains, I ain’t sorry to say, she was dating this guy who sometimes we thought he used charm on her (I don’t believe in charms anyway), she would cook, clean, wash and fuck this guy, she was practically living with him, what would the boyfriend pay her back with, severe beatings, broken bones and scars.

We were all pissed at her, we asked her “Why can’t you leave him” her reply was “Where will I start from” and the shocker is, she was just 26 at the time, well she continued with him for a long time till she left, I don’t know how she did it but the next time I saw her, she was looking healthier and happier and I didn’t even have to ask I just knew, now the question remained, “How did she do it?

My first rule when it comes to relationships, you need to love yourself first above all things, you need to love yourself above families and friends, without the capability of loving oneself, we ain’t capable of loving another, if you value yourself above all others, then you would know what you deserve and what you do not, it’s not rocket science its simple A, B, C, D.

How do you leave an unhealthy relationship, believe me it’s not easy, I can just write about it because I might not be in your current situation, but you need to know, the moment tears and sadness have become the other of the day in your life and that of your relationship, it’s time to leave, you can’t fix sadness or unhappiness, this is a case of it its broke please don’t fix it just leave it and let the wind blow it away.

Take time out and find yourself, and inculcate into yourself that you can live without that person, you can do things without that person, you can learn to love another person, find something you love doing, discover a hobby you didn’t even know you had, and please never ever ever during this process listen to love songs or see romantic movies, it would only compound issues.

While I might have said a lot of things here, to many I might have said nothing, not even chinked their suffering armor, it’s a self-decision to be happy, no one can really make you happy unless you choose to, it’s my place to remind you that there’s no greater love than self-love and it’s your place to realize happiness can only come from you.

Ibeji Isabella