Bisi and I went to the same boarding school, she was two classes ahead of me; she was the first person I made friends with during my first year in school, I was very shy and introverted so it was really difficult to  make friends as everyone thought I was a snub and a rich spoilt kid.

I saw nothing wrong when Bisi touched me playfully anytime we were having our bath, or how she always wanted to share my bunk with me, or how her finger always played with my hair anytime she snuggled in bed with me, I kinda liked it so I said nothing and she continued, well one day we made full blown love and I liked it, I was into her, I liked her a lot, we continued till she graduated and I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else so I thought that phase of my life was over, “A phase I thought”

I had forgotten all about Bisi, I went to the university, graduated, met a nice guy, got a great job, I would term my life as being content, I had everything I wanted, Until I went to a conference in South Africa and saw Bisi, she came up to me and said “Nike, Nike!!!! OMG Nike is this you” I was confused at first, it’s been almost 15 years, but her voice was familiar, I know I had heard it before, I just couldn’t place it then she said “So you have forgotten your lover”? Then it all came back to me, Bisi! I screamed, we hugged, talk, we just couldn’t stop.

We reminisced on the past and talked about the present, we were doing really well for ourselves, I told her about Daniel my fiancé, and I asked her if she has anyone, she told me she and her girlfriend recently broke up and she wasn’t ready to date anyone, I said “Girlfriend”? She laughed it off.

The next day I took a flight to Nigeria, Bisi and I kept in touch, my heart fluttered whenever she called, I didn’t have many friends, so I thought I was just happy I finally had one I could talk to, she came back to Nigeria, resumed at her office, and we had dinner almost every evening, Until one day we both got drunk, ended up at her apartment and made sweet love, Daniel has never touched me this way I said to myself.

I couldn’t stop, I was hooked, I went back for more, I had no time for Daniel, he would call and ask me to come over I’d make excuses upon excuses, Bisi and I continued for six months, then she told me she wanted something serious and I’d have to break up with Daniel, I said I couldn’t, what will people say! I screamed at her, we are in Nigeria, Africa, if people knew what we were doing we will be arrested or even stoned to death. I told her I want babies, I want a full blown BellaNaija wedding, I want my family to come to my wedding, I want my dad to give me away on the aisle, I can’t have these things with you I told her, we had a big fight I went home angry.

We didn’t speak for two months, I was miserable, work was boring, Daniel became irritating, I wouldn’t let him touch me, he would cry and plead and ask “Nifemi, what have I done wrong”? I wanted to tell him, I wanted to say Daniel I am in love with a girl; the words just wouldn’t leave my mouth, I couldn’t hurt him that way, yet I knew I couldn’t hurt him even more by getting married to him, Bisi kept calling, sending me messages, she wanted us to relocate, live our lives somewhere else, away from friends and family who wouldn’t understand our kind of love.

I don’t know what to do, I love Bisi, I know I do, maybe I have always been a lesbian, and she’s always known even before I knew, oh! How do I make people understand that a girl can love a girl this much? I have made up my mind, I know what to do.