How does someone who claims to love you carry out an H.I.V test on you without your knowledge? Please I need Advice, all the way from Kenya, love your work by the way.

I fell ill about some weeks ago, I actually thought I was pregnant; I wasn’t bothered because I and my man have been going steady for a while and this would be an opportunity for him to ask me to marry me or so I thought. It became so serious I had to be admitted to the hospital where he works, series of tests were carried out on me, turned out I wasn’t pregnant, I had food poisoning.

When I got discharged, I requested for all my tests results from the hospital, Imagine my shock when I saw an H.I.V test I didn’t request for, I called the hospital immediately to ask why one was carried out on me without my permission, they said it was with my permission because I had asked the doctor in charge to carry it out (My Boyfriend)

I asked him why, he said he wanted to exhausts all angles, now he knows my status, I want us to carry out a test on him also, he’s refused so far, saying he’s sure of his status and since I don’t have it he doesn’t have it either. I am so angry with him, he not only violated my trust and privacy, he wouldn’t reciprocate and do same, what do you think I should do?

Carrying out a test on you without your permission is wrong, but we need to look at it from a medical angle, you were ill, he had to run on kinds of tests and being a doctor I don’t think it was wrong of him to carry out an H.I.V test on you, where he’s wrong was not asking before doing it.

He might have had no choice in the matter, seeing how serious the illness looked at the time, he’s a doctor, sometimes they try to treat and ask questions later.

You need to overlook this and move on, seems both of you have a wonderful thing going on; you just have to let this go. Don’t pressure him much about carrying out a test, but make sure he does, Unprotected sex between unmarried couple is very risky, if you’re going to do it why not know you H.I.V status and S.T.I status.

Move on from this phase, it’s happened, you’re angry because your boyfriend did it, if it were to be some random doctor you wouldn’t feel betrayed, don’t be angry at him anymore, in my opinion he did it for you.