Hi Bella,

We’re Facebook friends but you don’t know me, I started reading your blog post recently and I love the way you address issues.

I have been dating this great guy for two years now, everything’s going great and we really love each other.

Last weekend, his sister who introduced us let it slip that he’s planning on proposing before the year ends, she begged me not to tell him as it was a surprise from him.

Now here’s the problem, I am not ready for marriage, I just got this great job that requires much of my time, when I applied for the job I was asked if I was in any relationship which I replied No because It stated they needed single women, we both agreed on this so I did it with his permission.

Photo Credit: valentinedaywishes


Very soon my company will send me abroad for a year, to acquire some training on behalf of the company, things are finally working out for me and I don’t know if marriage won’t slow me down, I want to give this company at least three years so I can be promoted and do anything I like, be it marriage or kids, I don’t know if he has the patience to wait, how do I politely down turn his marriage proposal while making him understand the reason why without hurting him.



Honestly, from what you’ve written, Your Career is as important as it is with your ‎personal love life and as a Lady, no man in his right sense will wish to fall back on someone who is a liability, hence his reason for agreeing with you in taking up your new job. Not every man is as understanding as he is, that alone shows he truly wants you to be successful. You also postulated that things are going well for you right now, that’s impressive and I’m happy for you.

A man who really loves his woman should have her best interests at heart, which includes career path as long as it doesn’t affect your love life. He is a great guy just as you mentioned and you can’t afford to lose him because of your career as it may be difficult for you to balance them both when work requires you travelling far away.

I suggest you relay to him about the new developments in your work and try to weigh his reactions because keeping it to yourself will only make things complicated. A marriage proposal doesn’t translate to ‎you both getting married immediately, no. It’s just another level up in your relationship together and I don’t think work will constitute a barrier to the success of your union as you both have come a very long way.

The best move right now is to put your cards on the table first, assuring him that no matter what, you both will always strive through. I believe by so doing, he will be patient enough to propose at the right time and always stand by you through thick and thin‎.
Reply From Ikenna Ihekweazu {CuteHector}

Talk2Bella Team