Hello Bella, please keep this anonymous thanks.

My story is quite a long one but I’d try to make it short, I have always been a party girl so you can imagine the type of men I date and friends I hang out with, there were drugs, booze, money, name it, I was living the life and having so much fun but one day my friends and I had an accident on our way back from a club, I almost died, Bella this incident traumatized me so I decided to tone down my life for a while.

Well my boyfriend didn’t take this too well, he loved the kind of girl I was and this new girl I had become had no place in his life, he would invite me out and I’d be scared to keep late nights because of what happened, I couldn’t even drink, smoke or do drugs anymore, this put a big strain on our relationship but I still loved him anyway, we had come a long way.

Four months back I found out I was pregnant, I told him of course and he was so mad at me, telling me how would a drug addict become pregnant, that the baby wasn’t his, I couldn’t have his baby, that drugs have spoilt my womb, he said a lot of hurtful things Bella, I thought he was angry at the time, maybe the news shocked him, so I gave him some time and went back to him, he said worse this time.

My family knew his and vice versa so we went to see them, they talked and talked to him and he wouldn’t bulge, my mum told me to keep the baby, my dad has been supportive, everyone in his family have been so nice, his dad has already chose a name loll, and I would have the baby in the states, but for the life of me Bella I can’t tell what went wrong, I still love him and if he comes back tomorrow I’d accept him, I just wanted to share my story and know if keeping this baby is the right thing to do.


Most times when we have an Epiphany in life, many people don’t understand the decisions we take afterwards, they see it as selfish or pretentious, because we stop being who we were, we stop believing in the things we did and we discover a new chapter of ourselves, so congrats on taking those steps you took which changed your life for the better.

I am glad you decided to keep the baby, kudos to your parents for the support, many African parents aren’t that supportive when their child bring an unwanted pregnancy home, kudos to the guy’s parents also, not many would stand by a woman who their son had rejected.

You need to think about yourself now and the baby, stress and thinking aren’t healthy for a pregnant woman, you should have happy thoughts every day and stay around people who would make you happy.

You wanted to know what went wrong in your relationship? Well your man wasn’t ready to grow up, he’s still all about the life, the fun hasn’t ended for him yet, it’s your sole decision to wait for him to outgrow this life or not, I get that you still love him but you got a baby on the way now who would need your undivided attention, so loving someone who doesn’t love you and having your child see this is might not be the first way to start the first months of his or her life.

I wish you joy all the days of your life and during this pregnancy, you shall deliver safely, and when you see that this man who got you pregnant is ready to calm down on the party life, you can introduce him to your child.