Dear Bella,

Good job I see you doing. I have a problem (hide my info, will you please) I love my girlfriend so much that it will hurt me to see her cry or lack but the thing there is, I am not a communicative person. I can stay days on end and I won’t call, text or even say hi whereas she is on my speed dial. It is not ego (I guess my past relationship is causing me this setback) cause I have tried every way I can to erase it from my head but I can’t. I am not a selfish person, I love her too much she sees it but asks why I do not call, I tell her it is just me (so guys have this communication problem and don’t know how to handle it)


Photo Credit: bet

I see her, and I am happy to go the world for her, climb the highest mountain and all that but as soon as she is gone, I fall back into my old state of not talking to her. I think my main fear is showing too much love (which I already showed her) and I don’t want it to be seen as weakness as I am a sucker for love and if I got my sights on 1 girl, there is no amount of seduction/temptation that will take my eyes off her. I did show my previous relationship too much affection by calling and smsing all day (like say I nor get work!) and it was taken for granted and then again….how do people in relationships do it? What do they really talk about? I know too much of everything can make one sick, I just want to let her know that i am always there anytime even if i am not close to her, I can still do what is expected of me.

I need advice as I am scared of losing her. How do I connect with her?

Thank you

PS: Hide my info please; she is an ardent reader of your blog.




You mentioned you aren’t a communicative person in the first paragraph but further down your story, you admitted your reason for your lack of communication was caused from your last relationship which stems on the saying, “once bitten, twice shy”

You see, in life, most especially in relationships, communication really matters a lot; it soothes relationships and increases the bond you both have for each other. Nothing stops you from picking your phone and just saying a hello, u never know; only that might just make her day fulfilled. People who are in normal relationships communicate about their problems, their joys, they tease each other, flirt with each other, or even so, they fight as well, it’s still part of communication. Trying to please someone all day doesn’t make sense. Silence as well is still part of communication!

I really don’t foresee anything wrong with your relationship just the way you have painted it, but you should improve on the points I’ve mentioned out for you and try to reach out to her let her know what’s up about your day to day activities. If you are worried about airtime, social media has put facilities such as Voice calls, video chats and voice SMS that can aid in communication as well. Please try as much as possible to open up your heart to her so she should understand your shortcomings.  ‎If you continue to shut her out, someone else might take her away from you.



Reply From CuteHector

Talk2Bella Team