I believe in love, I believe in everything that has to do with genuine sacrifice and patience; I am an advocate for true love no matter where we find ourselves when love is true distance is not a barrier but rather a motivation to love someone fiercely with each passing day.

I have seen a lot of relationships crumble, my longest relationship then was an online relationship, for almost two years I was celibate and faithful, ever hopeful my prince was going to come back home to make me his princess, what did I get for my wait, a block button and a I don’t trust you anymore excuse. Being an introvert makes it hard for me to meet people and when I do meet someone my nose of suspicion keeps perceiving lies emitting out of someone even before their intentions are said.
I want to pour out my heart, I want someone out there to read this and say I am awakened, long distance relationship is fun when you’re young and rapid growth and old age hasn’t become your enemy, it’s fun and hopeful if the person you’re waiting for is a regular visitor to the country you’re residing in, you can’t be 25 and date someone who’s 23 just because they’re in the STATES, father TIME has a strong hold over love, no matter what TIME always wins and most times things out of our control makes waiting a TIME waster.

Most girls in Nigeria are single, not because there are no men here; they are single because they have someone they are waiting for, 40% of Nigerian women have an “ABROAD” boyfriend who has promised to come back in no time to marry them but its only 1% of these relationships that work out.

A Nigerian man abroad who’s in his late 30’s wants to marry a girl in her early 20’s he picks out his speck online, when he finds you compatible sometimes he sends his family to go carry out an investigation on you and see if you’re what you portray yourself to be, he wastes no time in coming back to marry you, these ones aren’t time wasters they know what they want, this is the half of the 1% I was talking about.

The other half of the 1% is sheer luck, love, perseverance and God’s grace; when you wait on a young man for years, he finishes his studies, and sometimes both of you might even date other people along the line but when it’s time for him to come back home it just works out for both of you.

Dear women, before you decide to wait on someone have it in mind that things might not work the way you want it, men who are in Nigeria rarely date or wait on women who are abroad, I have heard of cases where the girl sends for the boy, rare cases where the boy sends for the girl but these are rare cases, what works for Ada might not work for Adaeze.

You’re 25 and you’re dating someone abroad who doesn’t know when he’s coming back, who’s struggling over there, who hasn’t gotten his citizenship, many of my readers know my stance on cheating, dear sister you’re going to break that man’s heart because of Father TIME, you’re going to bow down to the pressures of society and look for someone who’s ready to get married, you have wasted that man’s time and efforts over you.

Long distance relationships works when there’s constant visiting, it can work in Nigeria, all you need is a 45 minutes flight or an hour or several hours by bus to go see the love of your life, but when you’re dating someone abroad who’s thousands of miles away, he can’t afford to invite you over and you can’t afford to invite yourself over, let truth be told, that relationship is going to die a natural death.

I know you have seen the signs, unless you’re in it for something else, I know you know it’s a TIME WASTER, I want to wish you luck and pray you’re amongst the 1% it will work out for but I can’t guarantee happiness all through the journey, you will cry, wail, curse, regret, and ask the WHY question but at the end of the day if it works out you SMILE will be the brightest and the wildest Mankind has seen in a long TIME.


Isabella Ibeji