No matter how much a man might like or loves you, if his mother says NO! My sister better have a rethink of that relationship. Men do not joke with their mothers, a mother might tell her daughter she doesn’t want her to marry a particular guy; her daughter would protest and try to convince her mother how much she loves that guy, very few Nigerian girls actually listen to their mothers when told not to marry a certain guy.

So it’s finally time to meet the future mother in law, you’re thinking of ways to make her like you, make her accept you, make her see you as the good girl you are or are not; this is probably one of the hardest and most scariest times of a woman’s life it is a must his mother should like and accept you even if his father does accept you and the mother doesn’t you’re still on a long thing.

Are you a slay queen? Skimpy dresser, twerker, poster of rubbish, online fighter, heavy make-up applier, the first thing you should notice when you go visit your future mother in law is the type of phone she uses, Nigerian women are natural detectives, it’s in our blood there’s no denying that, immediately you notice this hurriedly log onto your social media accounts and start deleting, deletes those raunchy videos, stupid posts, sexy pictures, her son might like it but definitely not a Nigerian mother in law.

Do not ever let her serve you food! I repeat never ever let her cook and serve you a meal when you visit for the first time, a Nigerian mother in law would test you with everything and nothing pleases them more than knowing you’re hardworking and would never turn their sons into slaves; when she asks you what would you like to eat say in this exact manner “Mama tell me what you would love to eat let me cook and serve you” she might protest and call you a visitor but please do not be deceived follow her to the kitchen and assist and while you’re there do not stand like a robot, chat her up make her smile and ASSIST!

Show her you are a prayer warrior, if she sneezes say “Bless You Ma” if she complains of backache say “The Lord Will Heal You Soon” before you eat a meal in her house offer a prayer, anything you say infuse and quote bible verses, you can never go wrong with these.

Mothers love to be pampered, on the D-day your future husband has deemed you worthy to meet his mother do not go empty handed, go with a gift be it small or mighty go with one. Do not dress scantily or shabbily to go visit her, do not apply heavy make-up, do not make crazy hairstyles even if your man likes you that way, you aren’t trying to please him it’s his mother who might have the final say especially if he is a mummy’s boy.

Learn his language if you’re from different tribes, nothing pleases a mother more than conversing with a stranger in her own language, don’t go there and be forming Oyibo, even white women have learnt to please our men by cooking our local meals and learning our languages if they can do these my sister who you be? Based on logistics.

Are you a Muslim woman? Do you observe your 5 daily prayers? Do you wear your Hijab often? Do you go to the mosque? If the answers to these are NO NO NO And NO! carry your prayer mat along when going to visit her, show her you’re  devoted Muslim .

Sometimes I look at my Mother and I say haa dear baby Jesus I don’t want my mother as a future mother in law biko, why? Because my brother is her only son and any girl he brings must have a comma, she’s too short na Ikechukwu, hian but why’s she so tall Nnam? Oh she’s a tailor, so you didn’t see a graduate abi? bia Nwokem when will you bring the right woman, I look at her and say but you chased them all away na, when they sleep over its war, she monitors when you wake up, how you do chores, how many worship and praise songs you can sing during morning devotion and if you dance worldly during church service lol, but when she likes you even my brother can’t chase you away.

Sometimes it takes very little for a Nigerian mother to love you, most times it takes a whole lot, it’s always under the guise of “I am doing what’s best for my son” funny thing is when we become mothers we exhibit these traits without even knowing, but do you know what conquers all these? Love, unconditional love, I have met girls who have prayed for their future mother in laws to be dead before her son comes to marry her, some women go into marriages ready to battle their future mother in laws, but this is all wrong, Nigerian movies has even made it worse with the portrayal of mother in laws and how selfish, mean and diabolical they can be.

The way you treat your mother should be the way you treat every elderly person, the moment her son marries you; you are automatically her child and you should accord her all respect you would your real mother because one day reverse would be the case and Karma doesn’t forget, do all the things you did when you met her, some mothers honestly can push you to the wall but always chant this Mantra “WHAT IF SHE IS MY MOTHER”

Isabella Ibeji